Are you too nice? Too kind, too selfless, and and too often bow, too considerate just to please others? You are this?
Uhh stop! Don’t pat yourself on your back for being an awesomely amazing human being. You are hurting yourself, and you are at risk of depression.
You’re Actually Living Someone Else’s Life:
When you are always nice, behave good and positive, you adjust easily, when you’re caring, scared to speak your mind, change your personality subconsciously, hide your emotions, and unwittingly follow your friends/family’s diktats rather than your heart – you are living their life, not yours.
STOP it! Just stop trying to live up to everyone’s expectations. Stop worrying so much about what others are thinking about you: if ‘others’ care about you, they will love and accept you exactly for the way you are.
An ancient Chinese philosopher Tau, said: “Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”
CARE FOR YOURSELF AND DO THINGS ACCORDING TO THAT:
Don’t do things because you are expected to do so. Do things because you know this is right. You feel this is right.
Stop investing all of your time on taking care of people who are important to you, or who can be important in future. This need to please and care for others is deeply rooted in a fear of rejection. Fear of rejection is the underlying feeling that: “If I don’t do everything I can to make this person happy they might leave or stop caring for me.” When you please others to avoid being criticized, rejected or punished, you lose self worth, which can wreak havoc in your life.
“What do you do when the inevitable happens and when they leave? You blame yourself, of course. Consciously, or subconsciously, your already low self-esteem gets reinforced. It spirals downward in a lightning speed and you get even more depressed, thinking that there is no tomorrow for you…”
STAND Up For Yourself:
Your significant others don’t care as much as you think. What you think of you is your business, not theirs. While you don’t have to be self-centered and egotistical, you don’t have to put yourself into other people’s shoes – all the time. The desire for connection and to fit in is one of the six basic human needs, but that doesn’t mean you lose yourself in the process of seeking approval.
When you are addicted to external approval or opinion, you give your happiness remote to others, get easily manipulated, and accept unhealthy, abusive relationships as your destiny.
“Who cares what others think and, or say? Let me just remind you – it shouldn’t be you. There is only one person in this entire world whose opinion should matter to you, and that is YOU and you ONLY. There is only one person in this entire Universe that needs your pleasing, and that person is you. There is only one person, who needs your caring the most, and yes, you’ve guessed it – it’s you again.
“Just remember this: if you care too much – others will care too little… If you remain too available – others will always remain too busy for you. Without even being apologetic about it, people will always make you wait for them, making you feel as if your time is not nearly as valuable as theirs. You get the picture…”