Why I No Longer Fight for Acknowledgment

“The ad was a misprint. We can’t offer you any monetary compensation for your writing, maybe some treats”. This is an actual response from a successful big magazine I was going to write for, which I took as a personal offence because I put 40 days in reading, researching and writing putting all my gaols aside. Also I never got any treats, or at least my name as the writer of the article.

With experiences like these, I am no stranger to feeling devalued in my career, and I have a hard time accepting a lack of consideration and respect. Case in point…

Another magazine responded that they were interested in a particular piece I wrote, then proceeded to drop communication. After submitting the article, dozen of follow-ups went unanswered until the one day I had enough. I felt so disrespected, and triggered.

Deleted the whole history, notes everything about the article to get over it, wiped my tears, watched Lucifer and slept.

Two months later editor replied and this time asked for my interview, I wasted my whole day answering and then again never heard back.

Few days ago I just saw my writings in their site without mentioning me, without paying me a single penny, Oh the article is hit with 367 comments.

I can mention so many similar cases, this crushes my confidence to write. Somedays I dream about writing a book, next day I get a slap, “wake up Smriti. You’re just a nerd with 9 to 5 job, oh you’re also bad with your grammar too.”

Several pages on IG use my quotes or my captions what I write and they are getting the fake acknowledgment, when I ask I get blocked and they’re earning huge money, on the other hand I sometimes I hide myself from my relatives to not feel ashamed of having a voice. Someday I see not so lovely genitals, and question myself maybe you’re not meant for it and somedays I question my worth. I literally feel ashamed sometimes, I can sense the judgement of course!

What I learned is that in many situations, standing up, asking for the acknowledgment isn’t necessarily the wisest action. This of course depends on the situation.

All I did is get myself worked up over something that was beyond my control. And I failed to look at the situation objectively and consider the many reasons why they may not have responded to my emails. I was also disrespecting myself by putting so much hope, belief, and self-identification into what, at the end of the day, is a business. There’s truth to the line, “It’s business, not personal,” yet I never seemed to grasp that enough to create emotional separation, which is what I do now.

Well this experience made me a better person I believe, this experience led me to have more empathy. I no longer take emails and acknowledgment granted. Thanks a lot to you (you know who you are) for acknowledging my existence here, reading my writings (no matter how bad, silly or good).

I rarely write here, but I am grateful for the people who take time and read♥️

Expressing my love and gratitude wholeheartedly, thank you for listening to me, giving me more confidence to keep blogging, reading my all kinda posts and always helping me to grow. Kind of feeling little vulnerable today, as the year is ending, and I am realising my dreams are crashing as the time is passing, but I’m strong enough to accept the things I guess.

Ignore the title, I was clueless what to write there. Okay Bye!

2 responses to “Why I No Longer Fight for Acknowledgment”

  1. What terrible experience and I’m sorry you had to go through that. But keep soldiering on, and one day you’ll get what you’re due. Also, the internet has been pretty good in that regard, in that we don’t need to go through any gatekeepers to get our work out there. Anyway, wishing you all the best!

    Liked by 1 person

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