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Beat Loneliness on New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Eve can be difficult you’re spending alone. And it natural to feel lonely during this time. This time is generally thought of as a time of joy and love, but for many people, it’s a time of loneliness. Some people live far from family and miss seeing their loved ones this time of year; others dread going to holiday parties and New year’s Eve

I am celebrating alone this year too. Unlike last year this year at least I won’t be shedding tears 😀

I am glad that finally I learned to celebrate and enjoy my own company. Here are few of my tips that may help you to beat the loneliness tonight.

1. Take a social media break:

Constantly scrolling through social media networks like Instagram, and seeing celebrities and influencers sharing their celebrations online can be hard to see. So just put a social media ban in place and try and avoid looking at your phone. Accept that life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to, or the way it’s portrayed through social media.

2. Reflect with gratitude:

The last day of the year is a perfect time for self-reflection, but chances are you’ve always been too caught up in the flurry of celebrations to really take an honest look back at the year. Think about things you feel grateful for this year. And say it goodbye with a good and positive note. Write it down.

3. Cook something for yourself:

Plan something delicious for dinner and set up a little date night for yourself. This is a special occasion, after all, and you’re worth spoiling!

4. Make your room your party venue:

Clean your room, make it your party venue and decide to watch a good movie before hand. Watch some meaningful or funny to feel the positive emotions

5. Schedule in a video call with loved ones:

You don’t need to be alone-alone! You can still chat to other people and share some quality time – even if it’s over the phone. Plan a video call with your friends or family.

6. Treat Yourself

Do something lovely for yourself as a little celebration. That can be a nice glass of fizz to celebrate with at midnight, a toasty bath and unwinding session in the tub, or a tasty dessert, or just look at stars and enjoying the silence and view.

Make this a nice evening for yourself so that it feels like an active choice to spend the night alone. Try to reframe it in your mind – you’re not lonely, you’ve planned a great evening with yourself, for yourself, and that’s something to look forward to.

7. Don’t compare your evening.

If you’re planning on being alone on New Year’s Eve, try to avoid looking at what everyone else is up to. No matter how much you’re enjoying your evening, you’ll instantly feel a bit rubbish if you look at what an amazing time everyone else is having. So just don’t compare.

8. Reframe Negative Thoughts with something good:

Just imagine starting the first day of the year with no regrets from the night before. You could go for an early morning walk, do some gentle yoga or get started on a productive hobby instead of lying in bed with an almighty headache. Think about spending next day on a positive note and just don’t believe negative thoughts.

Your feelings are valid, feel it.

Remember your feelings are valid and it is normal to feel lonely on such occasions. Set an alarm, give yourself some time to honor how you feel and then get back to having a fun evening.

Tip: If you’re focused on a task, like cooking, you’re less likely to sit and feel lonely. Try to stay slightly busy without overwhelming yourself and the evening will fly by – in a good way! Try to plan 1-2 hours of the night, like what movie to watch, whom you should call, watching any stand up comedy, or what to eat, or just dance it out, whom to call, or thinking about any new resolution. Or having a normal evening, not acknowledging what’s going on, and just taking some time to yourself.

Remember there’s no big pressure to stay up and celebrate – it can be just another evening for you if that’s what you want. You won’t really be missing much anyway, so do what’s best for you!

Hope this helps to anyone who is feeling lonely and unloved today.

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year 2021❤️ Wishing for the good times 🙂

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My healing story #hearmeout

Since last year I was struggling with my emotions, for me it was very tough to get out of bed every single day! For continuously 1 to 1.5 years I suffered. I was emotionally abused. I used to call my friends at midnight and cry like a baby.

I was losing interest in food unknowingly. My flatmates always showed concerned why don’t you eat. In last few months I became complete insomniac person,
I was not able to sleep at all.
I started having frequent emotional breakdowns in a day. Waking up in the morning was such a scary thing. From bathing to travelling, from office breaks, in my bed, while studying all I did was crying or stopping myself from crying.

I was forcing myself to get out of bed, eat, talk every single day. No matter how much I cry I was not able to heal my pain! Then I was having a severe leg injury, I was on bed rest, I started having suicidal feelings.
I even tried doing it. I wrote a big suicidal letter once which my friend saw and she did her best to stop. I started keeping my parents pictures in my bed to stop myself. After some point that also stopped helping my thoughts. Your mind can be your biggest enemy and it is so so so true.

I guess I have called all of my friends in midnight asking for help me as I’m not able to sleep, but talking to them helped me just in that moment. I even cried once in one of my office meetings due to my emotional breakdown, I had to face them next day no matter how embaraased I was and I did.
I went to my parent’s home. I knew that this is not good, I did everything to get of out of this, read lot of self help books, made routine, adapted healthy practices and trust me it was kind of working for me too. But my progress got triggered by continuous cyber harassment which most people in my profile already know.

When lockdown started my situation became worse, I deleted Instagram for two months to stay out of negativity and slowly all my social sites and still was craving to sleep. My night time was worst, I did everything trying to engage myself in tv shows, but my mind was killing me. Even sleeping for 2-3 hours started giving me satisfaction. My skin, my eyes suffered a lot.
My mother was suffering too seeing me in this state she told me to see a doctor, and he told me I’m too young for sleeping pills but I should take that considering my situation. I got too scared to take it. One morning my mother came to gave me head massage for hours trying her best to make me sleep, still it didn’t work. I was living with continuous headache, extreme frustration every day. I was not working this time, all I did was painting. But I slowly went into zone where living everyday was the most painful thing. Darkness was my best friend. I was afraid of night and mornings.

I didn’t want my parents to see my crying I locked myself in the room, washroom to cry as long as I want to. Crying makes feel good to some people, but I was abusing myself. I have abused my eyes by crying for many hours, by not sleeping and pushing myself to work in front of a screen, watching shows to escape from my feelings by not eating. I felt extremely tired, had severe headaches all the time. In this past one year, I can’t tell you a single day where I was happy
and I didn’t cry! I became too comfortable in that zone. Please don’t let my smiling pictures fool you.

I was rigid that I can get out of it, but at the end I completely lost hope of living.
I lost total of 8-9 kgs, my face was full of big acnes and hyperpigmentation. I had severe digestion issues, became under weight now.
My mother once cried and told me please let’s see a doctor, please take a sleep, it’s too painful to see you like this

Finally I made my mind to see a clinical psychologist for the third time, I took two sessions from different psychologist but I didn’t like it
So I researched a lot this time and found one, made my mind to do everything with full dedication whatever she’s going to suggest.

Finally I was diagnosed with dysthymia(persistence depressive disorder). I took my proper treatment, and here I am writing to you all 🙂
Before second session I never thought I’ll ever get out of it and I’ll ever find life worth living. But I started seeing light after my second session

Also healing is not linear, my healing was triggered several times, one time after continuously working on myself for 1 month, I was triggered again due to some situation felt like I’m going back in that zone. Again my sleep was disturbed badly. But it was for 2-3 days. During your healing there will be several ups and downs, many times you’ll feel nothing is working, this is the end or you’re going back. But it’s a part of your process of healing. When you’ll look back you’ll love your growth, your learning.

During this I have made a friend who studies psychology from Harvard currently through social media and my work, I shared once about my negative thought, suicidal feelings she was kind enough and she helped me a lot. She suggested a book in which various activities was given and I did all that. I am forever grateful for her.

The two major reason for my pain was due to dissatisfaction in my career, I was tired of trying in two years, felt like a loser everyday, felt like my dreams will just be dreams, I’ll be nothing, just a loser and my relationship, I was cheated very badly in my relationship
which made me completely broken. I was emotionally abused continuously from my ex in my relationship. Initially I tried cope by not showing what’s inside sometimes by sharing with fliters, by hanging out with friends but whenever I was left alone, my mind was my enemy. My childhood traumas, my relationship, my career, my social media everything was so overwhelming for me.
Even the small things was too painful to handle at that time. And yes shaming me for my clothes, all the judgements had an impact on my mental health too.

I’m 25 and I don’t know what my life has to offer, what situations I’m going to face but I never want to see myself going in that zone ever again , after so much pain.

So here I am, the woman you’re seeing is a continuous work in a progress(like everyone else). Yes I’ve still not accomplished whatever I wanted to but I’m working everyday for it. I have a better understanding of my self worth, about relationships, boundaries, my values, my inner critic, learning and unlearning things, dealing with your emotions in a healthy way. And I’m still learning, still growing.

Working on my self has helped me to say what I want to say. I was never this person I never expressed my thoughts but now I do.
And I feel empowered. And it’s not easy to put a smile when you’re going through hell but when you do you’ll get to know how strong you are.
My personal experience was not the only reason for #hearmeout project and my magazine, I started it to help my friends to understand it and be aware of it, what they are going through. I’m writing about it from past 1.5 years, but now I have learned a lot through my pain, therapy and by reading.

I have learned that working on your mental strength is the most important.
It can take anywhere you want, anywhere! Trust me it does.

One thing I strongly believe now- “The strength of your mind determines the quality of your life.”
My mental strength comes from few practices which I do regularly now to maintain my mental health

After connecting to several mental health professionals and life coaches I know one thing we normalize many unhealthy things, live our life with it which we should not. Seeking help, understanding the unhealthy symptoms and continuously working on inner self will always make you a star⭐️
Let’s keep making ourself better💙

Things to do in 2021

This is inspired by many famous bloggers.

Since 2020 wasn’t that good for me, I am really desperate that things change for me next year.

I already feel old, there are many things I haven’t done, most of the times I feel melancholic. So this is just to give myself little push and excitement. And I really wanted to share this. Let me know if you try this too. Also please don’t judge because most of them are very silly.

1. Sleeping under the stars

2. Watch sunset(with mindfullness)

3. Watch sunrise (with mindfulness)

4. Try a new dish

5. Try a new drink

6. Go on a blind date 😀

7. Writing and sending hand written letter to someone

8. Going out alone for a movie date, all by yourself and enjoy your own company.

9. Get a different haircut or maybe try coloring your hair

10. Relax in a spa bath

11. Invite your friends/family for dinner and cook it by yourself.

12. Organising surprise dinner for someone

13. Paint a picture/drawing for yourself and keep it

14. Sing your heart out at karaoke

15. Do any volunteer work for the day

16. Developing any one good habit(like this year I started working out, anything simple and good)

17. Make a gratitude jar. Take a jar and write things you’re grateful for in chits. Open it from time to time and read it

18. Try Yoga

19. Save money for travel

20. Solo trip

21. Visit a new beach and wear bikini 😀

22. Learn some new words in a different language

23. Get a massage

24. Make a list of tv-series/movies and watch it

25. Have a sunset mocktail

26. Learn a dance style

27. Buy a houseplant and take care of it

28. Make something for the house. Anthing for your home decor.

29. Give food to someone in need

30. Try to meditate for one hour

31. Do an online course

32. Host or attend costume party

33. Make someone a birthday or celebration cake

34. Spend one entire day without using any social media

35. Spend one entire day without using your phone 😰😰😰

36. Forgive someone who has hurt you and let them know

37. Compliment a stranger, it will possibly make their day

38. Play a board game with friends or family like ludo, chess or carrom

39. Take your camera with you for a whole day and capture everything and anything that takes your interest

40. Hold a mini movie festival at home. Invite your best friends, ask a movie they love and spend a whole afternoon and evening together curled up chatting, eating and drinking and sharing old favourites.

41. Try a completely new look, new different outfit you never tried

42. Find a spot with a good view and settle down with a friend or loved one or even alone and enjoy.

43. Write down your life plan. It doesn’t have to be specific, or even achievable. Just a guide for all the things you would like to do and then you can tick and cross off the ones that you want to work towards.

44. Write things you love about yourself, write an essay and keep it with you forever

45. Have a major clear out. De-clutter, if it’s not pretty, useful or it hasn’t been used in the last 6 months, be ruthless, let it go

46. Spend a whole day in bed watching movies, reading books, writing or just cuddle with your pillow

47. Read a good book and write down quotes, or whatever you learned from the book

49. Write a story, poem or article; for yourself or submit it to a website or newspaper magazine or just post it on your blog/social media

50. Meet new people or make new friend

51. Gift yourself something nice and meaningful

Please feel to suggest anything else which I can try. Okay Bye, hope you guys are enjoying your holidays 🙂

My First Magazine

Inquisitive Mind- Mental Health edition-1 Introduction

Inquisitive MInd Mental Health edition is the independent international consumer magazine dedicated to providing information for better mental health. We aim to raise awareness of general and specific mental health issues and ways of achieving better mental health and a greater sense of mental wellbeing. It is about taking mental health conversations from the shadows and bring it into the spotlight.

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