Ways To Be More Confident

Can you believe me if I tell you that your lack of confidence is putting limitations on your success? 

Hear me out, no one just pops out of the womb feeling self-assured and confident. Behind every confident person there is years of hard work. Creating a strong sense of self is a personal skill that you (yes, you!) can develop over time.

Imagine the monster under your bed as your insecurities. When you think of the monster, you can’t sleep and you’re paralyzed with fear. You’ll stay awake all night, scared for your life, until you turn on the light and realize there’s nothing there. Your confidence is that light. 

When you find your confidence, your insecurities will shrink and you’ll live a happier life. You’ll finally reach the success you’ve been working for. The fears holding you back won’t seem so intimidating. If you’re ready to change your life and discover your confidence, these tips are just what you need.

Here are 20 powerful ways to be more confident in yourself:

1. Destroy self-doubt

Stop second guessing yourself. If you believe you can do it, you can do it. Self-doubt is a traitor to confidence. When you choose to doubt yourself, you are accepting failure before you even try to succeed

2. Silence your inner critic

You are more than enough and you know it! The voice in your head should be reminding you of your awesomeness every day. You kill your confidence when you speak badly about yourself. Stop convincing yourself that you are less than you are. 

3. Stop comparing yourself to others

The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it. Don’t compare yourself to others! Your greatest victory is that you are undeniably you. Comparing sprouts jealousy and competition where it doesn’t belong, thus killing your confidence. 

4. Smile, often

Have you ever heard of the RBF? We all have it and it’s a little intimidating. Smile and show off your pearly whites. It’s makes you more approachable AND it’s scientifically proven to boost your mood. You’re more confident when you’re happy, you know?

5. Use positive language

Interlace your daily conversation with positivity. Speak highly about yourself, your life and the lives around you. Say ‘thank you’ instead of ‘I’m sorry.’ Bring confidence to your narrative.

6. Change your mindset

No more negative Nancy. Remove negativity from your life and your outlook. If you view everything in a negative light, nothing positive shines through. Confidence stems from positivity, choose to carry a positive mindset.

7. Be grateful

Appreciate everything. Yourself included. Practice gratitude and inspire yourself and others. Remind yourself daily of all the amazing things in your life, it will fill your heart with positivity. Inspire happiness and confidence through appreciation.

8. Practice self-care

Learn to love yourself and take care of your personal well-being. Allow confidence to radiate off of you when you practice self-care throughout your mind, body, and soul. 

9. Trust in your abilities

You’re fully capable of accomplishing what you want with the abilities you have. You just need to trust in yourself. Discover confidence when you carry a sense of pride in your work and in your potential.

10. Embrace your flaws

Your imperfections are a part of you and who you are. They make up your personality, look, and attitude. Your flaws aren’t bad, they are charming and unique. Without them, you just wouldn’t be you. 

11. Learn something new

Refresh your mind and create a new skill set. Introducing new knowledge to your plate develops new confidence. When you’re educated about a topic, you will feel more comfortable speaking about it. Knowledge is power.

12. Let go of the past

The past can keep a hold on you, if you let it. Remember, it’s the past. It’s happened and it’s over now. You can’t change it, accept it and move forward. Allowing the past to hurt your confidence stunts your personal development.

13. Change your perspective

Choose to view things from a different perspective. Understanding your situation from all angles allows you to develop a positive way to respond to your emotions, your personal beliefs, your lifestyle or thoughts. Instead of letting a bad experience hinder your outlook, you will be able to respond confidently. 

14. Have proper posture

Stand up straight, keep your chin up, no slouching. Proper posture isn’t just for the dinner table. Keeping a good posture shows confidence. When you slouch and cower away, you show that you are scared. When you stand with your chest out, you show that you are fearless and confident.

15. Exercise and eat healthy

Stay physically fit and keep track of what goes into your body. The way you look and feel plays a key role in your confidence. It’s hard to feel confident in yourself when you’re tired, out of shape and hungry. 

16. Overcome your fears

Your fears hold you back and deflate your confidence. Don’t let your fears control your life, you’re strong than them. You have nothing to be scared of. In fact, most of your fears are all in your head.

17. Accept compliments

People don’t just compliment you for no good reason. They see your strengths, your beauty, your positivity, etc. Learn to accept compliments and show appreciation. When you believe in a compliment, your confidence will soar.

18. Respect yourself AND others

If you don’t respect yourself, nobody will. You are valuable, treat yourself that way. Your time, energy, emotions, etc. all deserve respect. When you respect yourself, you will be able to communicate with confidence and feel better about yourself. Treat the people around you with the same respect.

19. Start conversations

Whether it’s small talk or deep conversations, don’t be scared to speak up. Communicating with others can be intimidating, but the more conversations you participate in, the more confident you will feel. 

20. Speak slowly and mindfully

Speaking slowly is a charismatic tool that shows authority and knowledge. When you take the time to convey your message slowly and mindfully, people will listen. You will capture all ears and ooze confidence.

Confidence is a personal skill that takes time and effort to develop. If you want to become self-assured and create a powerful sense of self, you have to make some changes to the way you think about yourself and your life. Don’t let the monster under your bed keep you awake at night, turn on the light.

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Helen Keller

Habits of People With Concealed Depression

Depression often goes unseen, unrecognized, and undiagnosed. A person with concealed depression is someone who is conditioned to deal with their inner demons in a way that doesn’t make them clearly visible. They may or may not be diagnosed, and this may or may not be something they’ve shared with even their closest of companions. The problem is that the world becomes darkest when we all stop being able to understand each other. We tend to believe that hardship is worn openly upon one’s chest like a battle scar, but many of these wounds do not easily reveal themselves to those that do not take the time to look.

1.  They may intentionally make efforts to appear OK and maybe even seem exponentially happy and upbeat.

The idea that those with depression all have one similarly dreary personality is false. Depression is more than just a mood. Those who live with depression have learned to alter their apparent moods, and may even be some of the most seemingly “happy” people that you know. Personalities can vary. Often those with depression try to stick with the positive and public parts of their demeanor regardless of what they’re going through on the inside. No one wants to bring others down, even if that means hiding how he or she is truly feeling.

2.  They may have habitual remedies.

There are serious ways to treat depression, including therapy and medication. However, in addition to these remedies, there are lifestyle habits that those with depression use to treat their everyday state-of-mind. This can be in the form of music, exercise, driving, walks, or basically, anything they know can get themselves out of a sinking set of emotions. Concealed depression has a lot to do with the ways people try to personally conquer their own demons.

3.  They may have trouble with abandonment. 

Anyone who has experienced depression understands the burden it can be. It can also be a burden for those closest to them. Sometimes when you let someone in enough to see the struggles you have, they walk the other way. Though it’s hard to blame these people for leaving, it creates a serious feeling of abandonment for those with depression. It forges a need for secrecy, out of fear of the recession of those they love. There is nothing more heartbreaking than finding out your ugliest layer of self is too ugly for someone you love to handle.

4.  They can be pros at “cover-up” stories.

This can be for anything from the cuts on their arms to the reason they skipped dinner. People who live with different forms of depression experience various hardships that can at times impede the normalcy of their daily lives. In these low instances, they know what to say to avoid attention from others to those displays of pain. Often they don’t want to recognize that they are hitting a low point either, so they know how to hide it.

5. They may have abnormal sleeping and eating habits.

This may seem like a small sign or factor, but it has a grave effect. Those who live with depression in an unrevealing way can sometimes only let the little signs show. Sleeping too much or too little are textbook examples. The same goes goes for eating too little or too much. Sleep and nutrition are two critical elements to health. They are also two elements that the human mind can attempt to control. Depression creates a suffocating lack of control, and being able to control at least something, can be all a person has. Sleep can be nearly impossible, or it can be the only escape. The same goes for eating.

6.  They may understand substances differently.

A person who handles their depression also knows how to monitor what they put into their body. They know alcohol is a depressant, and drinking it over an extended period of time can create a mental state of low that they are less equipped to handle than the average person. They know that caffeine and sugar are uppers for their moods. They know what medications do what. They know what doesn’t mix well. They know all of this because altering their state of mind in any way is much more of a responsibility than it may be for other people.

7.They may exhibit a very involved perception of life and death.

Not every person with depression has felt suicidal. However, depression often invokes a unique and complex thought process about life in general. Facing one’s mortality often comes at moments of desperation. It happens when you are furiously seeking answers to all of life’s questions. Being dragged in and out of horrible mindsets can cause these kinds of thoughts to be more frequent.

8. They are often uniquely talented and expressive.

Many of the most inspired and life-changing artists, musicians, and leaders of this world were also plagued by mental illness. I use the word “plagued” in a contradicting fashion because having a serious depth of emotions can also lead to profound greatness. People who live with depression that may not be visible to the naked-eye, often express themselves in incredible ways. They are in touch with the good and bad pieces of their souls. They are able to formulate and illustrate beauty through the shadows of the emotions they carry.

9. They are often searching for a purpose.

Everyone wants a purpose in life. We want to know that what we are doing is worthwhile. We want to know that we are moving in the right direction. Those who live with unseen depression want this as well, and in a way that attempts to satisfy something inside of them, that may always be hungry for more. Feelings of inadequacy and fear are no stranger to the depressed mind. People with hidden depression are almost always trying to compensate in their life for the frailties that they have inside. They may change directions often. They may become incredibly involved in the pursuit of true happiness. They are also striving and searching for more.

10. They at some times will release subtle cries for help.

Even a person who knows how to live with the burden of their own mind can need help. Outcries from people you aren’t expecting are easily overlooked. Sometimes it isn’t safe for people to be on their own with their depression; as much as they say differently. Sometimes they will reach out. Sometimes they will open up. These moments are the most crucial because they are especially powerful. They are what builds a bridge between people who have different levels of emotions and mindsets. They are what creates a closeness and trust among friends and lovers that isn’t always easy if some feel they have to camouflage their true selves.

11. They seek love and acceptance, as every person does. 

Shielding the world from one’s personal demons is not done so for the sake of dishonesty. People who live with depression in a private and undisclosed way do so for protection. This is for the protection of their hearts. This is for the protection of the people around them. This is for the protection of the success of their dreams. Some of those reading this may have felt an eerie connection to these habits. Whether you have been treated for depression, or you simply have treated yourself, you know how easy it is to feel alone. I entitled this article about those with unseen depression, but the truth is that most depression goes unseen by our human nature. We live in a world that encourages us to hide what is dark and unpleasant. We don’t have to.

The most important habit and motivation of those with unseen depression to understand is that they search for love and acceptance. We all do. The only way to gain it is to spread it. Never turn away from a person who seems to be struggling. Love when it’s difficult. Cry when you need to. Reach out when someone closes the door. Open your heart, even if it feels terrifying to do so. If we keep forcing the bad to go unseen, the good will also go unseen.

It’s Okay!

It’s okay not to write, or laugh, my love. It’s okay to sometimes not feel anything. It’s okay to allow yourself to feel the numbness. The emptiness. For what will derive from that phase will be bigger and better and stronger. That’s the problem with people like you and me, we don’t simply breeze through life sliding from one experience after the other, no, we turn it into material. We create stories. From the moment his breath brushed past my neck for the first time, leaving me with goosebumps to the moment I flipped his every last page, packing it away (or so I thought), beginning a new chapter of life, everything – has been a story worth sharing. Every laughter and every touch. Every memory forgotten and freshly brewed, non leaner, safely scented with love yet with the bitterness of goodbyes – and if you were reading my story you would know there’s no such thing as goodbyes and happy endings, because you’re always intertwined with each other. If you want a happy ending that simply depends on where you end your story… and I don’t believe in endings, so maybe I’ll never truly want this happily ever after that everyone is raging about. Because ever after, still has an after. Yet here I am, numb maybe… but preparing myself for another day, another story, another world inside my world that I could share, with this world. 🌎 
Yes it’s okay, to not write, to feel nothing, my love. 

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